Updated: Sep 22, 2020
It's easy to love someone when things are perfect and everything is wonderful. But to love someone when things are difficult, when they're not being perfect, when they're messing up, when flaws are seen and mistakes are made - that's when you see what "true love" really is. Anyone can love someone who is doing and saying everything right. Seemingly being everyting you ever wanted or needed. When they've got it all together and all figured out. When they don't make mistakes. That's not difficult. But to love someone at their lowest, when things are dark and they are not always loving and kind; to love someone despite how broken they are - when you're willing to stand by them no matter how challenging or difficult things may be; now THAT'S true love. That kind of love is complicated and messy and real. That's us.
Our love wins when things are good and when things are bad. Our love accepts flaws, forgives mistakes and tries again tomorrow. Our love never quits and it refuses to give up even when our emotions boil over at times.
Thank you for always being honest and always being real - even at times when it makes us both (and other people!] uncomfortable. Thank you for not pretending to be someone that you're not. Thank you for providing for us every day without having the security of a cushy job, bonuses, a provident fund and paid leave. Thank you for working your ass off and never giving up. Thank you for forgiving me when I know it's hard for you to do so. Thank you for my cup of coffee every single morning, for keeping my car clean and running (with awesome sound!) and for letting me put my ice cold feet against your warm ones - you do all these things even when you don't 'feel' like it. Thank you for always holding my hand in public. Thank you for all your efforts to make our house a home and for loving my boys in your own way. And thank you for lots of fun with your girlfriend (Duchess Ducati) and the exhilarating bike rides with her!
I still remember the high school boy with the questions in his eyes that made my heart sad but also made my it beat faster (and he is even sexier today) more than 30 years ago. Our love is challenging and complicated and raw and real. Sometimes it requires an emotional boxing ring! But it does grow with deeper understanding and us both trying to put ourselves in the other one's shoes. And there's always lots of passion!
You drive me nuts. You are hardegat, opinionated and different. You exasperate me and some days I want to throttle you. Seriously. But when you know better you do better and I'm thankful that you are working on figuring out the "know better" part when you have no frame of reference to do so. That is growth Thank you that you are trying. I see you. (I am so thankful for CBD oil too... ) This is also a huge shout out to our therapists...
We continue to grow and go together, and together we will figure out this thing called life. We don't have the perfect social media marriage but we work hard and we are getting 'there' slowly but surely. Together.
I don't know much, but I know I love you. And that may be all I need to know. Happy 4th wedding anniversary my Love. You may spoil me now!
Jou Bokkie xx